Time Travel - A Poem

for my sons

If I were given the chance to live again
To feel the pure love of a mother and father
To revel with the friends I never had
To run where my heart wished to
And meet a true love

If I were given an elixir
To make the past disappear
To remove the pains of my youth
To erase the sorrows that destroyed my faith
And look at life with a smooth brow

If I were granted the power
To change one moment of my story
To alter the course of my existence
To explore new universes
And all that it would entail

I would refuse the gift
I would refuse it every time
I would slam the door on the salesman
I would stub the toe of the scientist
I would curse the witch
And free the genie

Because in choosing a new past
I would lose my future
I would lose you
I would lose the happiest days of my life
And the reason I felt it was worth living

Your love shines through me like the piercing rays of the morning
Your smile envelops me like a coat on a cold day
Every second of your existence fills my consciousness with awareness
Every moment in your presence makes my heart burst with love
And your every word is engraved more indelibly than sacred text

How could I love you so much?
How could I not?
And how could I ever wish away
Anything
Everything
that led to your creation?

Karaoke Bar - A poem

While souls sing of
Their dreams once forgotten
Eyes flash across the throngs
And alight on desire
Music cascades down
Mounds of flesh
And pools in the thighs
Parted in dance
Smiles are illuminated
By the red lights overhead
Flaws erased by the darkness
And the burning of spirits
The echo of billiards
Landing in pockets
Empty of tithing money
Reverberates in the lulls
Hymns to the gods of leisure
While discordant voices
Sing away the night
Not mother's lullaby
But comforting nonetheless

At War Forever and Ever - A poem

We wrestle on the bed
For a few moments
Tongues invading and retreating
Arms twisting
Embracing
Caressing

We attack and surrender
Willingly disarmed
Hips thrusting and accepting
Legs entwined
Pressing
Convulsing

I would give up my territory
If you only wanted it forever

Star-Crossed - A Poem

In concentric circles we moved
Never touching in our self-centered orbits
The inertial gaze of our eyes focused on opposing wants
Oblivious of the other's existence

Then the Fates erred in cruel neglect
Crossed our lines and thrust our destinies together
We were never meant to travel life as one
Our stars were far too volatile to share this gravity

Inexorably and inevitably we clashed
As the Titans against the Olympians
Our Golden Age was headed for the end
And we were helpless to stymie the fall

In supernova splendor our joining had been heralded
The universe reeled when our auras entwined
But just as awesome was our implosion
And the black hole that left our union in tatters

The Rock -

He was like bedrock
Firm and compacted
Unmoving and unyielding

I had no desire to weather
This man of long-held views
And entrenched ways

I merely wished to stream
Along his edges
And touch his borders

And to chip away
Some of his solidity
Into my fluidity

Too Much

I think too much, my darling
Every second is consumed
With musings and conjecture
Every hour passes a sentence
On my lascivious heart

I feel too much, my darling
The ups and downs of your every smile
Move my emotions as deftly as a puppeteer
Anesthetize my soul with a kiss
Quiet my conscience with sweet whispers

Reach your arms around me, darling
Hold me close for I fear so many things
Only the warmth of your embrace keeps me sane
Only the power of your eyes makes me forget
All the reasons why this shouldn't be

Reach your arms around me, darling
Patch the holes of my psyche
Don't let go, love,
I don't know how long I have
before I crack again

May I Have This Dance - Entry for April 6, 2008

we two-step across the floor
in unpracticed synchronicity
traveling into a strange land
arms moving up even stranger torsos
madly wild kisses strewn on the face
of today's love
as we dance to the victory of youth
we care not about bills and mortgages
like our aging parents
or about time-clocks and whistles
urging the tired to their starting marks
or for others
the sagging walk home
we are at the cusp of those things
and the stench of it is close enough
to make us recoil
but not enough to scare us
out of each other's arms

El Conquistador - A Poem in Spanish - December 8, 2007

Ese gringo invadió mis tierras
Crusó la frontera
Subió mis montañas
Y enterró su bandera en sus cumbres

Ese gringo dejó sus huellas
En el llano de mi existencia
Clavó su hacha en mis muros
Y minó los diamantes de mis cuevas

Y cuando ese gringo alcanzó mis playas
y se tiró en mis aguas
Al punto de ahogarse
Yo, con compasión
Le di, también, mi aire.

Self-Realizations - Entry for December 01, 2007

I am needy
I am not high maintenance
I am loving
I am not spiteful
I am empathetic
I am not clingy
I am smart
I am not arrogant
I am high strung
I am not crazy
I am soft-spoken
I am not a push-over
I am shy
I am not quiet
I am sad
I am not depressed
I am giggly
I am not high
I am beautiful
I am not a beauty
I am overweight
I am not a monster
I am angry
I am not violent
I am overwrought
I am not overworked
I am strong
I am not invincible
I am stressed
I am not giving up

I am Vanessa
I am not what you want me to be

Note to Self - Entry for November 05, 2006

Wrote this while I was in computer science classes. My mind was overloaded from reading lines of C++ and little to no sleep.

Note to self:

Exfoliate the plains of my mind
Sweat out the impurities
Scrape off the Immaturities
Like a layer of
dead skin on the flesh.

Peel away the glossy veneer
Sear back the rictus
Open up my data bases
Repair the traces of
my deviated superego

Skeletons - Entry for November 05, 2006

This is a little midnight rhapsodizing. Put to music does not sound so bad, but in a poem, not so good. My first attempt at poetry in a long while: *cringe*

Skeletons

I've been mired in the madness of my misery

Stuck inside the turmoil that I called my sanity

But then I told you my secrets

And you told me yours

Our skeletons took their hands

And danced across the floor

I've been searching for the answers to questions I don't know

Looking for the clues to the soul I thought I'd lost

But then you held me beside you

And made me dream again

A welcome blush and fervent kiss

To last until the end

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

Hard day at work. Posting at this time very exhausting. Great emails and comments. Thank you! I need to catch up on my daily reads. There are meant to be done, well, daily. I hope you like my poetry. *points down* My latest. Sucks? no sucks?